10 Things That Could Happen During Tonight’s GOP Debates

S.m. Gibson | ANTIMEDIA

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

Tonight marks the first in a series of debates among the GOP candidates for president of the United States. In fact, there will be two debates held in Cleveland this evening among the overcrowded field of Republicans.

The first “Happy Hour” debate – which begins at 5pm EST – will consist of seven 2nd-tier candidates who did not qualify for the main debate with the ten current frontrunners. Notable names among the “back-of-the-pack” are Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, and Lindsey Graham.

The main debate will take place on the same Quicken Loans Arena stage at 9pm EST.

The aura surrounding the current cavalcade of candidates has become more like a reality show than dignified electoral process. As a testament to the atmosphere, the man presently leading all other hopeful Republican nominees was literally the host of a reality game show. The. Literal. Front. Runner

A circus is sure to transpire this evening, so we compiled ten things that are highly likely to happen over the course of tonight’s two GOP debates:

1. Someone could find out that “they are NOT the father.”

2. WWE champion Seth Rollins could interfere and hit someone with a chair.

3. Someone will most likely utter the phrase “You’re fired.”

4. Someone could be given a rose while someone else is sent home in tears.

5. One of the candidates could find out that whoever they’ve been talking to on the Internet is not the person they thought.

6. Someone could find out they have a 16-year-old transsexual daughter who is pregnant.

7. Rick Perry could use all of his life-lines on the first question, but forgets he has a third one.

8. Gordon Ramsey could criticize Chris Christie’s chicken parmesan for being over-cooked.

9. Rick Santorum could tap out “naked & afraid” because he is bitten by a snake.

10. Kanye could run out and grab someone’s microphone from them.

Things that will NOT happen during tonight’s debate:

1. Anything productive

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